We were going to go skiing but then we did not go skiing

I am not in my twenties any more.


When he's on, he's wise.



It takes me half the day, two walks, a run, and 30 minutes of at-home cardio before I finally settle in for the day.


I have named my collection. All's that's left is to write it.




When I read the literary magazine, which I began reading as soon as it arrived in my post office box (or rather I should say as soon as I picked it up and brought it home from the post office box since I am not entirely sure, actually, when the literary magazine arrived in my post office box)--a fact that runs counter to the arrival of previous issues of the same literary magazine, because they felt so heavy and I have felt so heavy and therefore reading something heavy has felt like it might be the stone that finally sinks me--I am reminded that I am not, in fact, a writer whose work is regularly published in or even considered for publication in esteemed literary magazines. In fact I might be a pretty amateur writer, and yet here I've been thinking that I was worthy of being an esteemed writer even though I haven't been practicing and I haven't been very brave. It will take some time to get up to snuff.


Likewise I think I have thought I had one of the best opinions about everything, when there are people whose whole lives are devoted to serving refugees in camps, if you know what I mean, and here I am writing silly stuff and in some respects not doing all that much of substance with my life.

I am so glad to be going back to school.


I've spent so long telling myself I can do everything that I haven't focused much on doing anything.


He says I should try being kinder to myself.



On the one hand I miss sleeping with multiple people in the week, the titillation of sitting on the bed with a man or a woman friend when one or both of you is considering the possibility of touching or otherwise stepping beyond the conventional bounds of friendship, the get-up-and-go to climb aboard a citibike and ride it all around Georgetown and sing in a choir and read guerilla poetry and have lots of sex with lots of people. On the other hand, life is change.


You're at a different stage in your life. Stop holding yourself accountable to a standard you maintained when you were a different person. 




Did I wring every drop out of them? 

It doesn't matter. It was perfect. 




I think I have a bit of an issue, I say, and I feel a little better simply for having said it.