Without limerence, what's left
It's been a long day and I need to retreat
sitting on the big blue chair in the back room upstairs
silken pajama pants and a loose, long-sleeved shirt
I'm sick again
a condition of cognitive obsession
I'm only just starting to come to grips with what it means
Is all angst merely chemistry?
Compulsion, obsession, and lack of control
I feel more clear-headed than I, perhaps, ever have
This is sad; this was a mistake; that wasn't okay; this is hard; this is perverse; I was struggling so much more than I knew
The thing about masking is it also obscures you from yourself
mirrors offer only a distorted reflection
Now I see suffering. And also wisdom
So much of what was presented to me as spirituality was poison
I was susceptible because I was sick
All my distortions were subliminal
What I'm trying to say is
This may be caused by low levels of serotonin in the brain
