On my back on the gray couch
I'm sick of this story
You're cruel and uncaring
All the kindness I had I gave to a person who could not receive it
All the stories I shared I shared with a person who could not receive them
So lonely for so many years
Now I watch him worship her and it mirrors the way you worshiped her, the safest place you had
Now you're teaching children how to ride a bike
Now you say vulnerable
Now your body wears that old cap flipped upwards
All of you in one picture
Without knowing it, I have allowed pain and fear to corrupt me
Fancied myself Galadriel
The test is longer than a moment
How are you feeling, and how will you respond?
Please excuse me
I've been so tired and so lonely
Strand by strand, my hair turning to white
I froze
I am so sad for the young woman who went through all that alone
I am still shadow boxing with who he used to be
Sweat blurring my eyes too much to see what's in front of me
As you revealed your tender heart I was bricking mine up and pretending to be a mason
The truth is I have no idea how to maintain a wall
You were so sick and I was so scared
