you do a great job winging it

Once again I have lost myself.

It's exhausting, isn't it?


So I do the work before me: I drink whiskey out of a jelly jar and I start writing again. Rusty. And I start caring for myself again. Rusty.

This time is gonna be different. How many times have I heard that bullshit. This time I am telling it to myself, and it isn't bullshit because I'm bullserious.

I am going to change my life.



In the still frame his face looks the same as the fake witch's face beside him. The fact that he is married to Joanna Newsom makes him enormously more interesting. The fact that his face looks like the witch's face is merely a temporary trick of the television.

Normally my years are devoted to one theme; this year is devoted to three. Healing, focusing, and liberation.


The focusing part is the hard one. What I know for sure is that I want to write more again--more of what I want to write, not what I've been paid to write. What I know for sure is that I want to keep buying records at the local record store and dancing to them alone in my living room. What I know for sure is that I want to keep spending more and more time with the amazing women friends that I've made. What I am considering is running for mayor. Or maybe moving somewhere totally new. I want to go down on the kind man who [redacted] and learn how to ice climb with the kind man from [redacted]. What I know for sure is that I want to get pickier about only interacting with kind men. Quite possibly I will start painting again.


I don't want to seem like an asshole but I also don't need to kiss their butts, ya know?