Cigarillos

This is not about race.
He stole cigars.
He listened to rap.
His friend had tattoos.
He was huge.

A spade is a spade.
A stolen cigar is a stolen cigar.
A gun is, well —

His mother receives a letter.
In it, lamentations from another member of the aggrieved.
It wasn't about her son's race.
He was threatening.
He covered his face with a hoodie.
He was carrying Skittles.

For all we know they were stolen.
That's the end of it,
right? 

Philadelphia

If eating vegan marshmallows after breakfast is wrong then I don't want to be right.


There are three drops of my blood on a bar's pool table somewhere in Philadelphia. They are close to the pocket on the bottom right side.

The difference between a small, grungy dive bar with a jukebox and neon green lights inside and a boutique beer list with wrought-iron sidewalk tables is exactly one block (and several jello shots).

The inside of a Rite Aid at 1:00 am on a Saturday morning is the great equalizer. A room full of people cheering for the man who found his Cheetos.

My kingdom for a king-size bed.

Creaky stairwells and loose banisters and waking up in the middle of the night needing urgently to pee.



The next morning I bite into bacon, lean back eyes closed and chewing, when I open them again I say to the waitress you have given me a new lease on life. She laughs and I tip well.

We walk all over the city and then run for the train, 35 minutes along the waterside trail underneath the art museum.

I shit you not: There is a line of people each waiting to take the exact same photo of themselves in front of a statue of Rocky. One by one they raise their fists over their heads.

The train ride is sleepy and uneventful. After setting down my backpack in the kitchen and kissing Wilson on the top of his head I walk to the park, lay down a blanket in the grass, look up at the tree branches above me blinking.

Back home in bed I sleep well, dream I'm an FBI agent in the middle of a life-or-death investigation. I slither beneath stone walls and test a blind man's veracity, confident, I will not let that woman get hurt.

What does it mean to be non-hegemonical in everyday life?

If I paint the walls will anyone notice this home has been condemned?
I bought a bucket at Rite-Aid then stopped to play the piano for the young man on the sidewalk.
Music for everyone he says I say I can get behind that.

In the hot grass lot I trade two organic Capri Sun rip-offs for three shots of vodka.
That concert changed my life.

The kitchen floors are mopped, now, the sink scrubbed down, the dishwasher run.
Why don't you go and find it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~


After the rains the world cools down. Damp wood and puddled roofs.
When I ride my bike a thin black line of water appears on the back of my shirt.

I have no one to talk to about this.

Tomorrow I will build supports for the tomatoes and peppers.
One cut bleeds on my knee, the other at the base of my left hand's middle finger.

The rainbow plant drowns.
The begonias are due for a watering.