Thursday, July 24, 2014

Wilson is learning to be brave

In the past, even before the rain hit, he would take cover beneath the brown corduroy couch and re-emerge hours after the thunder had passed.

This time, as lightning illuminates the living room walls, he stands between my knees and the backs of my thighs where I sit on the rugtense, ready to run the two feet to the couch, yet trusting for that second or series of seconds or a minute maybe that everything, as I promise him over and over, will be okay.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

"I don't think it will ever be easy to make an album"

Bees cling to clover, lilting heavy side to side.
He lies sick on a navy blue L.L.Bean quilt in the grass.
Two groundhogs run for cover.

Feel better, darling, and I'm off. I am here to get away
from war, bombed-out planes, oil barons. I step down the trail, the trees are so much bigger since last time I was here, the flowers too, big bushes of green growing so tall they swallow the edges of wooden houses filled with birds. I am thinking in poetry again, if only for these muffled steps through mud, and clumps of grass, if only in my own head.

I run. Miles move slower than normal, my feet fall heavy, it's okay, the better to see the creekbed, floating leaves, purple puffs and sparrows dotting the green hill. I expect I'll walk the bigger hills but here I am hopping up them, watch that rock, there, and that one too keep your eyes to the ground but occasionally, if you're up for it, sneak a peek at the top. It's not that far away, after all, I run with a dragonfly for a while, I say with but I'm no match for its speed, we both know it, this is not a competition

*Tallest Man on Earth

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

the better to keep sweat from accumulating

He stands in a raft rowed by another man tugging at lines. I spread my legs wide, the better to keep sweat from accumulating in the spaces where knees and upper thighs touch. For my birthday I bought myself a bike.

Her name is Lucy, I bought her for $200 and change on consignment, already I've earned my money back all it took was one speed-pedal down that shady tree-lined hill fucking flying one time? I've pedaled out hard nearly every day since. When I sling my foot over the seat and step off my thighs are shaking, this despite running five miles at a time and doing squats in the kitchen. These days I do them with the fan pointed right at me, in my underwear and a tank top, it's the only way to make exercise bearable in this heat well that and coasting downhill

Meanwhile Wilson sleeps all day, hot on the coffee table or the stone floor in the kitchen, both are cooler than the rug or the couch or anything made of fabric though it's a relative term in this apartment these days, he's committed to the birthday suit just like every day me I'm trying to keep it relatively decent what with those filmy curtains in the kitchen

I am grateful to you, I hope you know that, there is a clause that I want to write here but I don't know who's reading, that and slurping gluten-free dairy-free ice cream from a spoon.

No I do not want to write about that, the lines are too long and they're always gone by the time I get there. Anyway.

I ride with the memory of the day that car hit me, young woman on the passenger side crashing into me thrown from the bike its frame bent around the stop sign and blood all over it. I comforted her, tugged at the metal a bit then climbed back on, it took me another few blocks to figure out where the blood was coming from, a deep puncture in my finger that's all, the scar's nearly gone now but it was when I stepped off the bike again that I started shaking