It's so incredibly good

 

His incredulity sparks it

that anxious feeling again

earth rollups spiraled into cloudmatter

crags rain down, splintered droplets

mulch retains its moisture 

 

this room made beautiful by christmas

antlered deer leaping

soon we'll make woodfires

10 years and I'm still lit up for you 

I never would have guessed 

 

We lobby sneezes, sneakers squeak acrylic

We should really get a landline

 

like a thin hot snake lashed inside of me 

Lodged inside of me

Step into the green yard booming 

Leaving was the right thing to do, because we left

remember the soft grass, the gaggles of small 

brown birds, the imagining 

farm to feed the misfits 

half-acre filled with wildflowers

if I'd stayed I couldn't plant them 

Hot wet

 

 

When I am alone 

Bent quiet on the grey chair in the bedroom 

Laundry squished beneath my lower back 

Claw marks on arms 

anger like a freight train

my red hexagon 

A tiny crossing guard waving from the tracks 

 

 

So obsessed with protecting people 

saw it coming

All day small, small, small 

Hot wet shame 

Ugly little cry face

 

I did it too.

Bad day for screaming.  

Will the yearning end now?

Is this how you felt?

All the lines I told myself I'd remember I've forgotten

 

Too late 

Look at those cute little eyelashes

I'm hurt 

Two boxes of honeycrisps and a bunch of lavender 

She looks pretty in that dress 

The leaves fall golden-brown-dimpled-purple 

I rake them until the web between my thumb and index finger blisters 

 

At long last the new sofa has arrived

150 native plants this fall 

soon I'll tier the garden beds

 

I'm really grateful to have friends

We'll pick our own at the pumpkin patch 

Before it rains we walk in the woods 

A snake surfaces

Guess what motherfuckers I like a lot of musicals 

I press my nostrils to the lavender, inhaling 

Raptor forehand spike putt

 

 

Gosh dangit, I've misplaced my good trowel

Mosquitos chomp my ass 

The beebalm is root-bound 

I squeeze and squeeze and squeeze 

25 plants in two days 

It got too dark for the bridge  

And still so much growing to do 

 

Why have we not been listening to the Grateful Dead 

I think I know where 

Miss the vegan food trucks 

Drinking hard cider with orange in it

So many times I stayed. So many times I don't remember why I left  

At the time it all seemed so serious

I might have some chamomile myself

Love to the precocious little girl at the farm stand, yearning to be seen 

I tell her about Colorado so she knows women can move to the mountains 

Wish it was earlier

I read the magazine for Christmas tree growers 

Thank you to the young men who considered my dog

I think we should go to IKEA soon

I have eaten the jalapenos 

Does sex count as a sport 

To try to get the full flight

 

 

The squirrel surveys the devastation, baby in tow 

I am so sorry I can't breathe 

I fill the feeder with birdseed and place it on the hollowed stump: an offering 

Money plant

 

They have taken the Sassafras and a squirrel's home with it

The falling limbs slap the dogwood, slam the wild sea oats' thin reeds 

I'm so sorry. 

It was a danger

Trying to care for my neighbors; the squirrel suffers

Trying to care for the other trees; the dogwood and the sea oats suffer

The canopy parts and I feel exposed

I miss the shadow of her trunk, her verdant crown

I'm so sorry 

At least more sun flows in

You don't have to try any more.  

True love, innit? 

I smell the candle though it isn't lit 

Vanilla

 

Perhaps tonight I'll plant more beebalm 

Perhaps I'll drive across the river 

I've lariope to deliver  

My heart broke too 

I was thinking of you the whole time. 

No, CJ, no

  

it's got that wildness 

it does behoove me 

man I'm so attracted to women  

maybe he sees more than I think 

 

devotion isn't always intentional

52 minutes of sex and infidelity

releasing the chaotic twenties 

You don't have to be perfect   

 

How do you turn yourself off? 

How do you turn yourself on? 

 

Maybe sometimes they're trying to reconnect with an older part of themselves

he'll say it's too personal 

I bought a wagon-full of flowers 

home past the Slow Down 

inside to pee 

back to the car, tail thumping, and we're off

after yesterday's biathlon

still feels good to walk in the woods

slowly

 

home for lunch salad

the singing boy bringing you to tears 

into the yard for planting lobelias 

back inside, dancing, candle lit 

30 minutes of journaling

when the group zoom turns on I'm gone

back into the yard, planting 

 

native asters, creeping jacob's ladder, scarlet beebalm 

I have transplanted the hibiscus  

You'll need to rent a stump grinder

it's looking more like you

Wish list

she wears yellow trestles 

so glad you have your horse to occupy the couch

once upon a time I thought I'd be a steeplechaser 

 

 

wouldn't take me too long I don't think  

Join us to fight the flu  

remember walking daily city sidewalks with grime and trash embedded in them, with layers upon layers of the evidence of soles  

For years I rode the subway to get to places 

Then my skis, and wheels, my feet 

Now it's all of it

I really am shockingly grateful 

loving my nail polish 

letting in that mischievous energy letting in that chaotic energy letting in that vitality 

She's loving it! 

I miss the closeness of women 

I love the fierceness of women 

I really do feel a lot more free 

that's what I was going for

prosperity and creativity and true love and sex 

Hickory nut

 

 

The poison spreads 

Wrist, forearm, bicep

Thigh? Maybe. Hope not 

 

The chocolate warehouse burned down

Perhaps I will go to the candy factory 

There's a butcher in the shoppe 

 

1.5 hours to circumnavigate the lake 

I like my kayak and call her Caddy

We putter around. A heron starts. Cormorants fan their wings on a slowly sinking log. White egrets circle the shallows. Yellow lilies about to burst. Turtles sunning. I scoop a drowning bug on my paddle and tip them onto the front of my boat. They ride the helm, wings drying, triumphant. They take off when they're ready--15 magnificent feet of flight before plummeting back to the water. I turn the boat around, scoop the drowning bug onto my paddle, tip them once again onto the red plastic. I aim for the bushes overgrowing the bank. They leap when we're close, scrambling onto a branch

Safety is always tenuous

Is it driving you mad? 

It's driving me 

Perhaps I'm foolish. I didn't make it up 

I edit the novel 

I take Hanna for a run in the woods, through meadows sensual with goldenrod 

Someone has placed bags of brown leaves and acorns at the foot of the driveway 

I'm brave enough 

I just don't see things that way 

Not interested in battling 

Still have fight in me 

I paint my nails with vegan colors: left hand gold, right hand lavender-blue. left toes lavender-blue, right toes gold

The hyacinths won't last the winter

Unburdened of shame

At 8 o'clock I'll dance again 

Are you?  

If I could spend all fall in the fecund woods I'd do it 

 

Leave it to me

 

 

Twice

I arm-swing extremes

Is the issue one of the extremes or is the issue the extremes 

So sad for g

I got calamine lotion on the navy blue quilt.

 

She was in the audience

Light-bright greens

He's hired improv actors 

I forgot to get the ice cream 

Cracking 

He would run for me 

 

Candycane face slaps 

I am so sick of last-minute apologies 

There's also love there

You know what? This is just too much 

 

Rolling hills

 

 

When the fear comes I task myself with doing scary things. I climb on my bike at rush hour and ride the crowded roads semis-delivery trucks-family sedans whooshing my shoulder tensing scan-ahead threats potholes-drainage grates-slick paint-small rocks big enough to pop a thin tire or wrest it from its forward trajectory, and me metal-clipped in, which is for me very close to trapped, and me with breath tight in my chest, and me with shoulders rising, and me knowing if I mess up I could die. So I breathe. I breathe, I drop my shoulders away from my ears, I tuck my bellybutton to my spine and I ride the line. When I've biked for miles along the yellow-painted roads I duck into farmland fly tunnels of drying cornstalks clacking bald eagle soaring blue skies, swirl S-roads dip into valleys looking up to the tops of the big hills--I can do this--pedal my lungs out. Then back to the trafficked roads, quiet now, and I bike home up the long steep hill. And I bike home with the scent of cow shit stinging my eyes. And I bike home against the headwind. By the time I get there I feel strong again. 

 

 

 

Waffle

 

 

Am I allowed to decide because of one seemingly significant thing 

He's got the birdie eyes

 

Nick Lowe where have you been all my life 

 

Twice now

He's goin' for it

Probably I will eat some gluten-free mochi

I had something to say 

I am so sick of stories about domination 

He's working in the basement of Forest Knob 

Hanna wriggles in bird poop, jumps into bed, demands pets 

Nobody else in the world could roll in shit and climb into my bed with me smiling

That checks out 

I did not make healthy choices 

We're going to trust your nervous system 

Don't just hit the easy button 

Keep being a warrior for your own heart 

Hungry ghosts are hungry 

Farm June lives her principles

Your tender heart is your greatest asset 

 

It's simply lever lock and Bob's your uncle

Bouts of obsession

My normal isn't normal to strangers on the internet

Poison creeps my forearm

Wilson defends his territory

 

Welcome the spiders

Holding my breath in the post office line

if your experiencing bulling there are resources  

 

 

Funny things

 

Everybody's calling me 

I just bounce around like a pool ball. 

Who knows, maybe God needed the money more than that kid.

 

Later 

Reclining in sunlight undulating my forearms

That plant cannot go on the mantle any more

The book has a string through it 

I was going to say something 

Not wearing any underwear 

I will never own a smart fridge. If I have to revert to iceboxes I won't 

Mother of god, the google search results 

A tender heart is your biggest strength 

You're going to get out there and stand on your own two feet again 

Cowed by Loretta Lynn 

Hanna wades up the center of the current 

Is Labor Day over already 

One lone red leaf on a rock 

Pennywort

Frog fruit 

Water mint 

Frozen fruit 

The planters are on sale 

Out of hyacinths 

If this is my farm then I'll make it 

I hope my composter arrives tomorrow 

 

Forgotten what it was to move slow 

Fast is painful, my knee buckling in the night 

Having to hike anyway. It's too beautiful 

If I could bottle this smell and infuse it into my bedlinens it would never cease to make me ache

I think I'm a person who will always have an ache

I am not an aquarium guy 

You can't be sure you'd do it then if you don't do it now

 

 

Now it's 2 

Show him 

A little bit 

A luttle 

Especially on camera

 

She presses babies on me, I struggle to breathe 

Melting, floppy little body on my hip

I want everything all of the time 

How long can you go without writing it 

 

The flute whistles 

Am I a dog to you 

Don't hit that

 

The old white liberals love the formal gardens

the oil paintings at the annual art show 

They brave the rain 

 

Oh no, it went all the way 

Sad about the art

and the rings 

In my dream I got mad 

Stop ducking in and out

My dog ran away from the fireworks 

You said you didn't have to work

 

What would she have been fighting about

 

 

Burn 

This keyboard is different 

I haven't had a doughnut in so long   

Wilson walks heavier on my torso

Oh fuck yeah, I'll be over in a couple minutes

 

Pine needles and cool air 

Fall is coming

Insides filled to bursting 

Perish the leaves, the earth feeds on them 

Remember kayaking the lake, sunset

Remember skiing in the aspens

Moose tracks and snowshoe hares

Okay. I have to go to bed soon. 

 

I will be returning to the workshop in December 

You're a cute little teapot 

Doesn't love me enough to let me 

Begging for release 

 

I have to listen to myself 

They'll be short minutes  

The little roof that could

 

In this house we drink seltzers

eat freeze-dried, wild-caught boar

and freeze-dried, wild-caught salmon 

four round brown eyes watching my hands at the bags 

 

I cannot stop ing 

The teddy bear covers his eyes 

 

The cicadas are so loud 

Love it--living amidst the trees 

Two days ago Wilson caught one big-blue-green-winged in the front room 

I tried to cradle it in a magazine to carry it outside

It rattled and launched, not having it 

Wilson pounced

I popped out the window screen and picked Wilson up

The cicada found freedom 

I praised Wilson for his hunting

Wilson preened 

Then Hanna shoved her wide head under my palm

You're a good hunter too, I said

She looked relieved

 

All I can manage is one line at a time

My desire claws at my insides

 

I'm saying what I think 

In my dream I was about to have sex with Tyler 

Then my parents walked in on us 

They yelled at me to get in the car; they were taking me home 

Damnit brain. I was so angry

 

The fan is so loud

Were you thinking of me the whole time 

I miss you 

Do you want me

Probably I will vacuum the carpets on Saturday 

Certainly I will see loads of friends this weekend 

And two birthday parties 

And, of course, I'll be picking up my kayak 

Fuck I'm so excited to have my own kayak 

Recycle right

 

 

I can't get mad any more 

Everything sucks 

My therapist says I'm doing a great job 

Maybe she's insane 

Don't want to be great if it means I've adapted to this shit 

Don't enjoy being maladapted 

Get better at acting better!

There won't be ice caps by 2100  

A child born today will see it 

Sometimes I say bitch now 

I don't expect any of us to live that long 

The Supreme Court owns my uterus 

Billable at $10,000 per narc 

The trash can stinks 

The breeze blows the trash can stink into my nostrils 

I came outside to enjoy the sun

After days of biblical rain

My retirement plan is systemic collapse

I used to have a future 

 

 

Anxious ambivalent

 

I did it again. How embarrassing.

 

She says, there's a scientific explanation for this 

Belly full of oxytocin  

What happens if I un-check Scandinavian 

Refreshing the Notes app 

I feel so much better when I'm open

Blueberries in seltzer water

How to stay here?

 

 

Step back to / step up 

People are most important 

 

Miss my girlfriends 

I've slipped back into austerity 

 

Concrete Cowboy

I'm strong enough to be here

Even though I zippered my

I finally know forgiveness is for me

 

It's time to move on

Oh yes, that will be so beautiful

 

GOD LOC LOVE ELLIOTT

 

 

There are freaking rules in the mansion

 

 

I sit in the driveway, feet kicked up on a tempered glass table, a hard seltzer on it, reading 

He walruses seltzer bottles, giggling 

I whiff it 

 

I don't turn on my video 

I will not be volunteered.

 

Hanna is laser focused. There are treats afoot 

He sets up the shot and she nails it, jaw snapping

Should we go get boba? 

Right now? 

Yeah. 

No. 

 

The rug looks so cosmic. 

I am a woman in need of a chimney sweep 

We should respond to that, I guess 

I haven't played yet today 

Should I buy the runner rug or should I not buy the runner rug 

deliberating as if it matters 

There are people falling from planes in Afghanistan.

Are human hearts meant to be broken every day

Biking across the bridge smiling and the Amish man glared at me, my skintight shorts exposing every bone every taut bit of flesh in my knees. I don't know what he was thinking. I only know that he didn't smile back. I only know that he looked at my knees and his brow furrowed. Maybe he had a bad experience with a knee in the past. 

 

The bottle cap in want of a bottle. Or glad to be free of it

The little metal speaker invites expansion and contraction 

The spiky green cactus is burgeoning 

It wasn't great, but it was good 

 

She thought she'd found love and had to call the cops

When will we stop destroying each other

 

Gasoline danger!

 

 

So when I get a little grumpy 

I'm a Level 13 enthusiast 

Daisy is looking for her furever home 

The coffee is tepid. I drink it down 

doesn't want to read writing. doesn't want to hang paintings on the walls. fair enough, the paintings aren't very good. I frame the mountain and place it on top of the dresser

Not looking for pity. Perhaps somewhere a knight quests for it.  

Pity! Wherefore art thou?! 

My mom texts other people support 

K warned me I'd regress 

 

It's 73 degrees and cloudy 

My butt bones hurt 

Good long ride under the canopy 

I know your attachment style 

Maybe my doubt is on to something

You should say, those feelings are still valid

 

 

Stay cool

 

 

21 to go 

You'll be shearing the burn fields

He's planting more Doug firs. He's letting grass grow longer 

There's no new generation of christmas tree farmers

It's a big gamble. Maybe you'll think I'm ugly or too loud

That plant is staying alive through my own force of will. I will not give up on it

Fish see me and swarm, snack time

The seltzer bottle sits blue-pink empty on the coffee table 

I remember going to that house party, some kind of celebration beneath a possibly-burning tree. Who was I with when I ate the old cookie. Lights moved on trees in summertime. Walked home early morning alone. I'm glad I don't drink so much any more 

He swaddles himself in blue

I brought him home and then acted surprised. Same for him, and him, and him 

You'd think I'd learn 

 

Wish we could go to Leadville tomorrow 

Oh come, let's not be dramatic 

 

I tried to hang the birdhouse today. The strap broke and now the black hook won't fit through the metal. Now who knows when it will happen 

The farmer says, you wouldn't work the same job for years without a salary increase

I tell him, you deserve some pleasure and some fun 

It's hard to seem young without drinking

I pour bourbon from the high cupboard, for personal reasons

If only I hadn't rolled all those sevens. I'm so different now from how I used to be  

It's getting harder again

For a few months there he edited the literary magazine 

I will never use the central vacuum

 

 

That was a clinic. 

Gray-beige blue poufs 

Kindness rules 

 

I miss the brick and the wood 

I feel like I'd remember that 

I'd forgotten what it is to practice. Feels good 

 

The grass still stretches tall but the garage is so clear

If it weren't for all the childhood memories 

That was nice of her

 

They're embarrassing themselves. They're trying their best

Fuck do my toes hurt 

They're not actually crying 

That's what you do for the people you love 

 

 Stack the gloves, tools clink into the basket

 The blanket you used to lie on

Help me move this file cabinet

 

Maybe I'll eat some ice cream 

The avocado boba is gonna be okay 

In the woods the bugs swarm my eyes 

I wear sunglasses at dusk and become superhuman 

 

 That's not how squirrels behave

Dried flowers so pretty 

 

 

He trips water videos 

They created trash to make fake trash to mimic real trash 

The underwriter is perturbed. He's a big softie 

I'm really exhausted of all of them 

 

Do you wanna watch a Lego Masters? 

Maybe we should go upstairs 

The soft teal wires contour my back and thighs  

They're [I can't even say it]

Dang homie 

 

Mango + mint

 

 

It's real. 

Plaid blankets and white sheets 

Eating kale chips and red wine 

Since when do tweens wear that 

I have never been so annoyed by a child in my life 

 

The Diamond Lake

Too hot 

My dad doesn't want to play golf with me 

At least the steak was good 

4 is the number. Always 3, or 5, or 7. It's ing me

Do not apply to mucus membranes 

Have you seen Thelma & Louise

I still haven't assembled the file cabinet 

Missing family potlucks 

Picnic tables

It's not like me to 

When the wood shortage hit I gathered hay and shipped the sheep  

Neurosis and lake loons 

In Maine listening 

Through the bog I steered the canoe. Cupping blueberries

Please don't make me think it's never gonna happen 

She's one of the world's greatest horn players 

I can bike there. Through the farmland 

I still haven't folded the laundry 

Twisting cellophane veins 

Mustard blanket drapes like water 

Gray textured pillowcase

I want to surrender to you 

It's a sign of maturity 

It's true about the guinea pigs 

 

 

Am I taking too much space

I graduate in five hours 

 

There's less to remember when you don't go outside

I was moving so fast but I wasn't accelerated

Are you awake?

 Ah fuck, they're playing catch

 

Mother wound

 

 

The energy healer wears Uggs and shivers on the sand. 

Tonight they will burn an effigy the size of a small apartment. 

 

Tonight the sky darkens. Somewhere in the distance, thunder. 

I suppose I won't be mowing the lawn after all. 

I suppose the fish might need to eat dinner late. 

I suppose it's complicated. 

Are you tired of it being complicated? 

The gnome will not stop looking at me. 

One of these days I might take the metal shovel to his thin, white, ceramic skull. 

I have so many friends here! 

I make the penis joke and his eyes light up. Yes, there are penis jokes inside of me. 

Kept hidden, like so much else. Picky

and unbothered

Drive safe my darling 

Fingers find their way 

dancing in the living room 

music loud enough to drown the thunder

 

 

 

Rocks

 

 

At least I'm eating again. I don't sleep, not until 3 am, then the alarm rising out of the darkness at 8. I dress, pour coffee, sit in the car and drive to the farm, beautiful. All those years and I took it for granted. The chain blocks momentum; I piss squatting over the porta potty. We will go to the waterfall after we've hiked to the tops of the rock cliffs and I've scuttled hands-to-boulders out to the edge, stomach flipping look-down hundreds of feet oooo! Wet bird hitches wings wide to the sun, twirling to catch the light. Take your time; I'll leave you be. Sips from rock puddles, eyes me. The descent, cobwebs swaddle the wet skin of my arms, my stomach, my ear, my chin. A fly slams into a web. The spider darts forward, spears. Slinks backward. Waits. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the thunder comes

 

 

When the thunder comes, Hanna does too, black tail tucked, drops to the floor under the pale wooden desk. I drop too, slide under the desk to my stomach, stroking her, whispering. This is your home. You're safe inside. From his hiding spot under the guest room bed, Wilson hears us. He slinks up the hall to the office door, belly low to the gray floor. It's four feet to the desk and he's scared. I coax him. You're okay. You can do it. He runs to us. I place one palm on Hanna's thick body and curl one arm around Wilson's tiny orange frame. I fold my body inside the desk's legs—a wall on two sides. They lie together inside the wall, ears perked, eyes wide. Together, we listen to the thunder. We practice being brave. We keep each other safe. 

 

 

This church is prayer-conditioned

 

Exclamation point. 

 

Money Penny grows green, green, taller

 

Wilson eyes down the vent. 

The little teal lamp deserves a place to shine.

 

Bowls pile up on the desk next to mugs piling up on the desk

Yeah, yeah. I'll wash them. 

 

My fingers have flown through the beginner books and I need to go to the store for intermediate. Need to hang the bird boxes. Need to hang the bee box. Need to convert grass to native beds. Need to find the leak in the pond and fix it. Need to adopt more fish and frogs for the pond. Need to make sure the new fish and frogs don't harm the existing fish, such survivors. Need to grout the corner of the shower. Or is it caulk. Need to caulk something else. Or is it grout. Need to fix the leak under the sink. Need to re-grade the small strip of back yard that lets water stand by the foundation. Need to fix the laundry duct. Need to further extend the gutter extenders. Need to organize the garage. Need to mop the bathroom floor. Need to sign the PDF and let the tree guy know he can cut down the Sassafras, I don't want him to, she's sick. Need to stop Hanna from eating Wilson's poop. Need to figure out why the swamp milkweed isn't thriving. Need to plant more echinacea beside the existing echinacea. Need to assemble the compost bin and designate a composting system. Need to dig lines for the tiered beds and add a drainage pipe. Need to remove the forsythia; replace with natives. Need to tame the forsythia in the meantime. Need to dig up and remove all bush honeysuckle from the property, that nasty invasive taking over, ruthlessly. Need to weed the front bed. Need to water the air plants, a couple weeks overdue for their weekly soak. Need to remove the shrinking white flower buds from the yellow pitcher. Need to fold the clean laundry, sitting in the clean laundry basket. Need to carry the laundry hamper back upstairs from the basement and place it in the bedroom closet instead of tossing dirty laundry on the floor. Need to charge my phone. Need to start Hanna's new medication. Need to diagnose the succulent rot. Need to get my singing voice back into shape. Need to edit that novel. Need to write more poetry again. Need to paint the edges of my painting so it hangs prettier. Maybe teal. Maybe orange? 

Need and also get.

 

First, I will express my sadness and hurt. I will command my freedom. 

Then I will play the keyboard. I will take another bite out of those fresh rolls. I will think about you and wonder if you're thinking about me. I will take off all my clothes and wash the sweat from my body, long run in 93-degree heat

 

Pret-a-Powder

 

Salutations! 

 

I didn't know that kind of product existed. 

Pink jackrabbits hop toward purple-green explosions. 

 

Get rid of articles it will sound better. Get rid of adverbs it will read better. Get rid of superlatives it will sound truer. Get rid of it.

I am making a home for myself and I will not be deterred. I've never had one before. There are wild flowers on the wall and I sing Wildflowers in the shower and I carry flowers inside by the armful and plop them into big wide open-mouthed vases.

I stay in the shower even after I've rinsed the conditioner from my hair and I sing and I sing and I sing.

 I play the keyboard in Strings. I'm reading a book again.  

Permalink published on location options 

My location has changed. 

Never thought I'd leave the mountains, my home. Only for this verdancy, this bounty, also my home. Born from it. Like native ferns unfurling out of this earth. The trees cradle us in their shadow. 

I sit on the calls it's not me. I say the words it's not me. I tell myself duty, duty, duty. Who says?

I am tired of living within so many rules. That's not who I am, or was, or was meant to be. 

I had many friends there, yes. Here, I have so many people who would take me into their homes. Grateful for it.

big fireball of gratitude and yearning 

My desire pours over.

Please. I'm so  

Mind the Gap

 

I feel better already

It's hard to offer up something you love for judgement 

Ten months a year 

When I think I am too tired to carry on I drive 40 minutes upward and ski laps in the snow

He putts CGI greens and I'm chewing 

on a chocolate protein bar 

He washes a mug, a bowl, and spoon, just the way my breakfast needs them 

That is a kind of knowing I didn't know existed 

When it comes to sexualizing men, I could argue either way 

In the sunshine white shirt black eyes 

Good at predicting things 

I wish I could stop caring about being assessed 

Maybe that's partly what the practice is for 

Pick Thai obviously medium spice steam the tofu tip higher and higher again when she protests 

The only positive consent violation = tipping really well 

Putt putt mother effer 

Up to six feet, some say 

I'm going to float the river assholes 

Come on, let's be a little daring

Whiskey fruit

 

I didn't do it on purpose, but I knew I was doing it. 

I tried to get him to like me. 

Pursed octogenarian lips thick fumbling fingers

My youth sits alone in the waiting room 

Maybe you should get up and make it yourself 

I ask for another favor

They're eager to drain us of blood 

I wish I wasn't so good at embodying what I'm not 

We didn't get invited to the wedding

Why are you together if you don't believe in it 

I never thought I would. 

II. 

Why? Because when I run the blossoms are chin height

I breathe hard, inhaling them 

Now I'll walk those same streets with my dog 

Honestly I'm not ranked or free

I've never been able to skate 

Prepare to eat your shorts for lunch 

Can you fucking believe that I learned how to ski