You know I do believe

I don't mean to do it. 

I can't stop listening to Music from Big Pink. And Angel Olsen. I am going to see her live soon; it has been so long since I saw one of my musicians live.


Yes and tomorrow I'm going to drive through the canyon and purchase some crystals at the rock shop; I've heard they will string them onto a necklace for free.

Yes I know exactly how it sounds.



What the fuck. The Arsenal game is on NBC Gold. Looks like I'll be looking for a free stream.


After I told the stranger that I love her, that my heart is feeling for her and I am sending her love, I told her that I am giving myself room to breathe. I said I shared that anecdote in the hopes that it might be useful to her too.

I am here to be of service.

This is not the same as servitude.



The pet store has moved several blocks closer to the park.

(The better to purchase treats for Hanna.)


When we pull up to the dog park 20 minutes down the road through the red rock canyon, Hanna starts crying with excitement. She can't control her body, most especially not her tail. I open the car door and she leaps out, arrested immediately by smells on the very edge of the spiky green grass. There are SO MANY SMELLS. It is THE BEST DAY EVER. And then she gets to play with other dogs, chase balls along the grass, bound into the water from the pond's sandy edge? What a great day. The best day ever.



She is a mother now. Most likely this will create a lifeline gap between us. Not a lapse in love, but a distinguishing line between our identities. As for me? I think I am an odd, free bird. I think I am married to being free.

Then Wilson curls up on my chest, and even though I do not want him here right now, really--what with enjoying feeling free, feeling like myself, and all--I let him stay. I press my lips into the top of his head when he presses it to my lips. I think, his getting to experience this receptivity and love is more important than my desire not to have weight on my chest right now. Isn't this what it's like to be mother.


I love my children as if they were my own. I am a keeper of the Earth and all of her creatures.



Man I hate to be tickled.

Look out the window tell me, what do you see?