I seem to have gotten through a clog

Time does not heal all wounds. Allowing yourself to be present for the passage of time might. To keep living on in the present, which eventually becomes the future. So long as you dwell in the past you do not move on from it.


But what do I know. Still there may be reasons to remain with what is past.


Sometimes I wonder what my therapist really thinks of me, and oftentimes this line of thinking leads me to wonder if she is writing a case study about me. Then I wonder if I'm actually interesting enough from the perspective of clinical psychology to warrant a case study being written about me. Then I wonder if that is egotistical. Then I return to wondering what my therapist really thinks of me.

I think that if she does write a case study about me, it will be titled something like The Outrageously Persistent Patient.

I think that because nearly every time I talk to her she says that my life stories are characterized by incredible persistence.

When I took my last undergraduate creative writing class, my professor said my stories were characterized by loss.

So. Loss and persistence. There's cohesion, there. Still, for the most part, and with a profound effort not to slip into spiritual bypassing, I prefer to think of my life as being characterized by possibility and abundance.



It would appear that Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law thoroughly enjoyed each other's company and repartee during the filming of the Sherlock Holmes trilogy. Or else they are really good at acting.

I wonder if Robert Downey Jr. is sober now.

How much creative thinking has been stilted by the fact that we can find the answers to our queries simply by opening a new tab. It relieves me of the opportunity to envision any more about what may or may not be going on in Robert Downey Jr.'s life. Perhaps he is sober except for the occasional joint and every once in a blue moon he enjoys smoking said joint and dancing and lip syncing to The Killers in his living room. Perhaps his living room is on the second story of a multimillion dollar home and it has large French doors opening onto a small deck and when the weather is nice he opens the French doors and delights in the breeze blowing over his skin as he lip syncs and dances in the fresh night air.

According to Wikipedia, Downey has been drug-free since July 2003.




Sobriety is on my mind so much of the time these days, not mine but his and other people's and also maybe mine in a much different sense of the term, in the sense that I don't ever want to relapse into helping other people so much that I stop caring about and for my self.


When I went to the summer solstice gathering on Friday night I laid on the floor while my dear friend played a buffalo skin drum and I saw my four-year-old self standing in her blue dress at the end of the driveway with a notebook in one hand and a large pencil in the other, and she handed me a piece of paper with those three words written in her four-year-old handwriting, and she said remember who you are.

I said yes, I remember, that's how we will live the rest of our life.