Saturday, February 22, 2014

(The Book of Wilson)

Wilson sees no reason why things should not go his way today, tomorrow, five minutes from now, and every moment hereafter.

Wilson believes in keeping up with current events. He spends several hours each day looking out the window for this purpose.

Wilson prioritizes what is truly important. For instance, when a mouse started chewing inside the wall behind the washing machine, he did not leave his post on top of the washing machine for several hours. Not even when it was time for his five-hour-long nap.

Wilson believes in the power of cuddling.

Wilson will not settle. Not Fancy Feast, nor five-dollar cans of organic tuna will suffice when what he really wants is Natural Choices Turkey & Salmon Dinner Slices. He knows what he wants and he will meow until he gets it.

Wilson believes that everyone, everywhere, should sleep as much as possible.

At the same time Wilson is a firm believer in the importance of physical fitness. This is why he runs laps around the apartment, and up and down the stairs, and across the female human's torso, over and over again at 5:30 every morning.

Wilson prioritizes the long-term relationships in his life, even when glitzier friends come along. For instance, even after Catnip Everdeen showed up in the toy basket, smelling so good he sees visions, he still makes sure to spend quality time every day with his dear friend Mr. Fish.

Wilson believes in the importance of creative outlets. His personal brand of catharsis comes in the form of scratching posts, scratching burlap pads, and scratching the arms of the white chair in the living room. Occasionally he will bite the female human's ear lobes, but only when she is not giving him enough attention while she is sleeping and he needs to express his frustration.

If Wilson falls, he lands on his feet and keeps on walking.

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