I watch their pleasure for the joy of it

 

 

On my back on the gray couch 

I'm sick of this story 

You're cruel and uncaring 

 

All the kindness I had I gave to a person who could not receive it 

All the stories I shared I shared with a person who could not receive them 

So lonely for so many years 

Now I watch him worship her and it mirrors the way you worshiped her, the safest place you had 

Now you're teaching children how to ride a bike

Now you say vulnerable

Now your body wears that old cap flipped upwards  

 

All of you in one picture

 

Without knowing it, I have allowed pain and fear to corrupt me 

Fancied myself Galadriel 

The test is longer than a moment 

How are you feeling, and how will you respond?

 

 

Please excuse me

I've been so tired and so lonely

Strand by strand, my hair turning to white

I froze

I am so sad for the young woman who went through all that alone

 

I am still shadow boxing with who he used to be

Sweat blurring my eyes too much to see what's in front of me

As you revealed your tender heart I was bricking mine up and pretending to be a mason

The truth is I have no idea how to maintain a wall

You were so sick and I was so scared